She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
