420 ftw
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have post one night stand depression
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
