Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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