If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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