Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
