that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
