you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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