I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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