yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
