Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
