FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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