So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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