is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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