Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
