When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
