I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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