I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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