i jhust puked up my retainher.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
