It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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