WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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