my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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