He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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