part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize