that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
