I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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