She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
