Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
