real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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