I'm so fucking centered right now
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She's the barista slut.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
