You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
