Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
