508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
