Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
