Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
