I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I stole a fireplace last night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
