I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
