operation have a gay friend backfired
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
