Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
