I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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