The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
