i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
