birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He did a backflip because drugs
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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