i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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