Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We got so high we made milksteak
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
