In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize