Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
