OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You can't just leave with hair like that
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
