My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize