I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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