Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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