A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
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he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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