it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
