Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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