So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
