So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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