so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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